Humorous
Anyone who says money can’t buy happiness obviousaly doesn’t know where to shop.
Better days are coming, they’re called Saturday and Sunday.
I don’t repeat gossip…so listen carefully the first time.
Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped.
Telephone, Telegraph or tell someone at church.
Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
A woman’s work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.
A balanced diet consists of a cookie in each hand.
No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
When all is said and done, more is said than done.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
A bad day fishing is better than a good day working.
Crafts are cheaper than therapy.
Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.
If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there would be a shortage of fishing poles.
If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple payments.
I can please one person per day, and today is not your day. Tomorrow isn’t looking good either.
Give a man an inch and he’ll think he’s a ruler.
Marriage is made in heaven; but so are thunder and lightning.
My wife and I have an agreement. I don’t try to run her life and I don’t try to run mine.
If I can’t be seen, I’m on the green.
Eat dessert first.
Never trust a skinny cook.
I only golf on days that end in Y.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
Nothing succeeds like excess.
I can resist anything but temptation.
I had some words with my wife and she had some paragraphs with me.
Marriage is a three ring circus: Engagement ring, Wedding ring and Suffering.
Opinion expressed by the husband in this house are not necessarily those of the management.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy… Sometimes I let him sleep.
I cleaned house yesterday. Sorry you missed it.
Help Wanted! Everyone in the house qualifies.
Dull women have immaculate homes.
I’m too busy to be organized.
Housework probably won’t kill you…but why take the chance.
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Fri Aug 22, 2008 9:22 am